I did a scary thing

I wanted to check in with the world but instead I checked in with myself

I did a very big thing yesterday. Honestly, the biggest thing I’ve done all year.

I deleted TikTok (the app, not my account, baby steps). Don’t laugh at me please.

This was hard for me. I am newly 28 and have used some form of social media every single day since I was 14. FUCKK.

I’m not sharing this for you to be like “omg great job that’s so healthy, proud of you” but instead to talk about how hard this was for me. I love TikTok. I love the short-form videos, the ability to connect with so many people, and how it create transparency so many media sites are lacking. But mainly, I love how I’m able to watch the Eras Tour across the world from my little bubble in Seattle. TikTok is where the Swifties are.

But after the news broke of her Vienna, Austria shows being cancelled because of a planned terrorist attack, I knew I couldn’t stay online any longer. Not only is it so fucked up that someone would want to hurt a bunch of women singing in joyful community, but if the shows were not cancelled, I would have been staring at my phone watching it happen in real time.

As soon as that thought popped into my head, I knew I needed to get out of my head and into my body. And that meant holding down the app until it wiggles then doing the damn thing.

I’m one day TikTok sober and it’s hard. I open my phone and instinctively want to open the app and check in on what’s happening in the Love Island and Taylor Swift world. But instead, I sat down with my journal and checked in on myself.

Next, I need to figure out how to stop scrolling all together because now TikTok has just been replaced by Facebook, LinkedIn, and Pinterest. Starting to think TikTok is part of a much larger problem.

PS. I am working on my first book that I plan to self publish in the new year. If you would like to support me in this endeavor please consider becoming a paid subscriber.