pressing pause on the personal brand
pressing pause on the personal brand
and other life updates
When I got laid off from my cushiony job at L’Oreal in November 2020, I was excited to jump into the world of freelancing full-time. At the time, I thought that it meant writing whatever I wanted, when I wanted, and that was it. Now, almost two years later, I look back in awe at my optimism.
These days, being self-employed is so much more than just the job you are getting paid to do. Most days, I find myself playing tug of war between the work I want to be doing and all the content marketing I need to be doing. No longer can a writer just be a writer, living anonymously behind a screen. To get work, make money, and grow as an entrepreneur, you have to be your own brand.
Fresh out of my marketing job, I was excited about this. I was overwhelmed with the possibilities of what I could build for myself. I got new headshots. Built a website. Created a persona of who I wanted to be online so that I could continue to thrive in the way I did in corporate America. But now? All I want is to be a writer and the very thought of opening up Instagram or LinkedIn makes me shut down.
Over the last few months, I have grown increasingly frustrated with the creator economy and how it has impacted people who are self-employed entrepreneurs. With no one to back us, we have to be our own advocates, on and offline. But with our world growing more and more digital every day, it's online that is causing me grief. Instead of just writing a beautiful story, publishing it, and moving on to the next, my mind spirals over how I can utilize my latest work to market myself as a writer, needing to create posts on all platforms just to be seen. And it is exhausting! No longer can I enjoy a day unplugged without my intrusive thoughts telling me I am not doing enough. Even as I type this, sitting at the dining table in the home my husband and I recently purchased, I hear a voice in the back of my mind telling me that I should be working on something more profitable. Every hobby needs to make a profit, according to that voice.
I was born in 1996. I had an Instagram and Facebook before I was in High School. And what once brought me joy, is now the very thing causing my hair to turn grey. I spend my nights dreaming of a world where I can simply exist in the moment and not have to capture it for posting later. A world where my success is not dependent on the number of followers I have. A world where being present isn’t interrupted by my attempts at creating authentic content.
Is this world possible? I know for some it is. But for me? I am not convinced yet.
Latest News
+ We bought a house!! It doesn’t even feel real yet because it’s only been a few weeks but I still can’t believe we did it. We have been saving for three years and I am so grateful that we now have our very own safe haven in North Seattle. You will be seeing much more of the house process on my platforms eventually, but for now, I am just digging into the work. This has its own challenges too. Because of how embedded I once was in hustle culture, I am struggling with home tasks that are not profitable. Even just painting or cleaning out the garage, I wonder if I should be working instead. But thanks to therapy, I have learned that my inner child is a very hard worker and sometimes needs to be told to take a break. So that’s where I am at now.
+ Podcast is still happening, but not as much. Because of the move and all that we have been going through with that, the podcast has taken a backseat. I released an episode recently on intuitive eating that I highly recommend listening to. I am working on new episodes, but I feel a lot of pressure to produce more. So instead, I am just listening to my body and doing it when it feels right. And right now, what feels right is leaning into the ordinary of taking care of a home and myself.
+ I have a new #AskIzzy advice column out this week where I tackle time management for neurodivergent people. Highly recommend reading and sharing with anyone you know who struggles with it!